some more thoughts

Update.

2012-01-15T20:17:00.002+08:00

I sure have been busy. No time to write and I realize that my time is limited, after all. Opportunity cost is something I very much have to keep in mind. Do this, and you are not able to do that. Still.

I also realize that I am walking towards the fork in the road. To where shall I go? The wide or strait? The well trod or not taken?

A managing director of a hotel once told me how an employee he interviewed asked if she could take less pay in return for less working hours. He explained that for his generation, that would have been unthinkable. Money > Time.

And perhaps it is with this new generation, me included. We are more well off (thank you, parents) and so would rather trade money for time.

I worked in two MNCs. One almost the complete contrast of the other. The first was populated with a (mainly) older workforce. They were the definition of workaholics and would give me frowns when I left at 7 sharp. They would put in 16 hour days and a few could even be found there on weekends - voluntarily, without any overtime. This company had a truly dedicated workforce (as for me, hahaha).

The other was composed of younger people - mostly around my age. They would work their hardest to work the least. The management (which always changed) always looked upon what they saw with frustration. Almost everyday they would call a meeting and yell at everyone. Nothing changed.

So two different cultures - was an age a factor? I don't know and won't generalize. Still, I am of the latter generation. I would rather be at home, sitting and reading a book (or doing nothing) than toiling away in front of a computer earning overtime.

I look at some of my peers who are earning much more and wouldn't mind joining them. Money, especially a lot of it, would be nice. I did earn good money (for a young, entry level worker), but could only describe the work as "soul crushing". It wasn't hard, just deadening.

I'm now working in a job which does pay me less, but in return I get to work less. I like it; not just the free time, but the job (actually, it's not really a job) is something I actually kind of enjoy. But nobody would consider it something permanent. I must earn more and I must start a family and so must earn even more and so on and on.

This is one justification I give to explain my career choice. Now another.

You see, I believe that our souls are immortal. Death is not the cessation of existence. And so my worldview is thoroughly shaped by this belief. Whatever we do here has - no matter how small - eternal significance.

So inevitably, when I look at the accountant or the lawyer or the aircraft pilot or even the doctor (bless all of them) I see something quite trivial. Now I am not saying that what they do is trivial (although I would say that if you do not believe in an afterlife then they are even more trivial), but for me to do that is something I find personally repugnant.

And so, while the ordinary man strives to feed his wife and child I wonder about the meaning of it all with existential dread and childlike delight.

Recap

2011-12-06T21:38:00.002+08:00

A new year approaches and it's been forwards and backwards for me. I realize how much I (still) have to learn and grow. It's always good to be humbled and frankly, I wouldn't want it any other way.

Perhaps there are a few things I wish I had. The obvious of course, but more than that, I wish I knew what to do after this. But it's only natural.

Project Lauterbrunnen nears its due day. Ah, the joy of seeing a "big" goal finally being accomplished. Will be writing more about it soon. But I'm happy to say this - instead of saying I will do it "someday", I can now put a date to it. =)

Another big goal has to do with religion, another with science and another with both. I've barely scratched the surface of the first. The next one will be an even bigger challenge. But the last shouldn't be too hard - I think. When will I finish it? I'm thinking in the decades now. God willing, I'm projecting the completion to be right before my threescore years and ten are up.

Thinking about our Resurrection

2011-10-14T17:49:00.002+08:00

Crystallizing my thoughts ahead of a short talk. =)
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We know that Jesus was raised from the dead. But did you know that we will be raised from the dead as well?

Some of us think that when we die, our souls will go straight to heaven to live with God happily ever after.

That's nice, but why does the Bible say that we will be raised from the dead? Why do we need to be raised from the dead?

The Resurrection is a very very important concept in Christian thinking. If there is no Resurrection, Paul says, then Jesus was obviously not raised from the dead as well. Even worse, those who have died are gone forever. We might as well eat, drink and be merry - for tomorrow we die.

But Jesus did rise from the dead. And there is even greater reason to rejoice - we too will be raised from the dead.

When will this happen?

It will happen when Jesus returns. Paul says that, "...since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died."

But what happens after we die?

The Bible speaks often of Sheol (in New Testament, Hades) - a place where the dead go after they die. However Jesus told the thief on the cross that today, he will be with him in Paradise. Paradise was understood as an intermediate (halfway stop) place where the righteous would go, before they were resurrected.

What will our resurrected bodies be like?

Just like the disciples could still recognize Jesus in his resurrected body, so too will we be able to recognize each other in our resurrected bodies. However, it will be a different body as well - one that will never die. Again Paul clarifies, "Our earthly bodies are planted in the ground when we die, but they will be raised to live forever. Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength. They are buried as natural human bodies, but they will be raised as spiritual bodies. For just as there are natural bodies, there are also spiritual bodies."

What will we do after that?

After the Resurrection, we will live in a New Heaven and Earth. In Revelation, John tells us that he "saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband."

Notice - the New Jerusalem comes from heaven. This implies that we will be living in the New Earth! But in a way, we will also be living in heaven. For the New Heaven and the New Earth has joined together and God's presence is in the eternal city, the New Jerusalem:

"God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

And so, "when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.
O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”

Finally, I don't think our new life will be "boring", as some people think heaven will be. Although this is only conjecture (meaning our best guess), there will be a lot of things to do. We will, I think, be able to do all the things we have wanted to do but never could in this life. I also don't think that the Lord made the universe with its billions of stars, planets and galaxies only to have us look at them and wonder! Who knows, we will be able to travel and see fully all of God's creation.

These then are my thoughts. I end with saying that our Resurrection is not just a future event that happens after we die. Paul says that, "We died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin."

So let's live a life of someone who has been raised into a new life, free from the power of sin.

Soli Deo Gloria. Amen!

Pro-Choicers Say The Darndest Things

2011-10-07T17:14:00.002+08:00

In response to a post saying that a child is God's gift and should not be aborted:

"it's not a child. It's just a collection of cells and tissues."

In response to my post arguing for absolute morality with the question "Is rape absolutely wrong?" :

"Maybe some b**** killed some dude's wife, and he rapes her as revenge. To me she's practically getting a bargain punishment."

And I don't think they are joking.

The Hare Who Looked At The Stars

2011-09-30T22:18:00.002+08:00

Digging up old stories and retouching them.

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He walked past the meadow, into the woods. The birds had told him to go there. The setting sun colored the valley walls around him a bright red and he counted one, two, sixty streams of water gushing down the face of the valley.

Why this place? He wondered.

A swallow flew past and told him to keep going. He walked on, stepping past the broken branches and through the dead leaves. He heard whispers.

It was a small burrow in the ground, underneath a huge tree root, nearly covered by brown leaves.

A little rabbit with dark grey fur peered out. Hello? He said, hoping he was not disturbing it. The rabbit poked out further, cautious yet curious.

Is it you? He asked it.

The rabbit stepped out now, no longer hesitant. It walked up to him.

You wanted to hear a story? The rabbit whispered. He nodded his head, bent down and looked into its eyes.

I do not remember much; only what my ancestors told me, said the rabbit.

Go on.

His name no one knows. Perhaps he never had one. But we called him the Hare, for that was what he was. He lived here, in these woods and had many friends. A swallow, a fox, a squirrel, even a frog.

Keeping silent he listened as the rabbit continued.

He was brave and went to many far away places and helped rid these woods of dangerous creatures. The rabbit paused. The listener took the opportunity to ponder its words.

Did you see a meadow as you came here? It asked. He nodded. There is a tree there, a single tree in a field of flowers.

Yes, I saw it.

The hare would meet with is friends there and they would share stories with one another.

And the rabbit told the story of the Hare and his adventures.

He kept silent for awhile, but then wondered out loud. I do not understand though, he said, why they say this Hare is so special.

The rabbit thought for awhile then started.

Once before the sun rose the Hare looked up into the dark sky, looked up at the stars. He said something we never understood.

What did he say?

He said, Are they not beautiful?

Hearing that he laughed. Thank you dear rabbit. I understand now. With a smile on his face he stroked its soft fur, rose and walked away.

Of existential issues - redux

2011-09-24T18:22:00.004+08:00

I posted this quote awhile back and it's worth thinking about again. In speaking of the deeper issues in life, an author writes:

The emotionally mature adult can face up to the complexity and evil of the world. He can bear knowing that he is ignorant. He is content to achieve that which is within his reach. What is possible contents him, even when it falls short of the apparent ideal. No longer so sure of all the answers, or even whether there are answers, he is too busy working to achieve his reasonable goals to torment himself with such overwhelming questions.

We must be grateful, however, that some people cannot escape asking such questions, and seeking answers, for the results of those enterprises have sometimes been great literature, philosophy, theology - to our immeasurable profit.

What then, of the unlucky few where such existential questions torment them so? My conjecture - based on but a limited sample from observation - is that they either reject meaning (in life) or postulate some higher power (very often God) to explain it all.

In the meanwhile, I am reminded to ask: After all the deep thinking, where is the evidence?

Vaguely Dreaming

2011-09-15T17:20:00.003+08:00

Talking to my ex-colleague. She is curious about my new job. She mentions how she would like to do something else (but who does not?). Then she talks about money; we are young people, we have plans. Stability, money to be saved. No doubt. Having (somewhat) removed myself from the rat-race, it's curious to once again look in from the outside and pity them. But being once a member of the 9-5 pack, it's understandable. The routine is addictive but the emptiness often overpowering.

I remember, when I was younger, how I would endlessly daydream. I crafted hour long movies in my mind (unfortunately the plots and characters and set pieces are forgotten or, perhaps, they have evolved into the stories floating around in my mind today). The fact that I didn't go to school probably made it worse. Even then, when I was still in school, I remember how in the middle of my English class a hole in the ground opened and I slid and fell into a more exciting world.

"But does he love me?" she asks. I'm sorry, but I'm the wrong person. Even a man can only speculate what another man thinks, not to mention feels. "Hmm..." I answered.

My Ancient Near East anthology of texts have arrived, by "standard mail" which as it turns out is faster than international courier (I am still waiting for my other orders sent by this method. Amazon you so weird.). Opening the book, I flip through the pages. Most of the translations are what the layman would identify as "Bible English". But perhaps that might be the most appropriate. In listening to a lecture on Wisdom Literature, the lecturer (most certainly no KJV-onlyist) quotes from the King James Version as it fully "captures the majesty" of the text.

I look at my dear pet, Lane, and feel sad. One day she will die and there will be no chorus of barks to greet us when we arrive home. Again, I go back to my younger days when it first struck me that I will die. In fear I imagined a heaven, a much better place, but could not. And in my more secular times, I imagined a final end of non-existence and could not imagine that as well.

Then I wonder, as my dog looks at me, does she feel sad knowing that I, too, will die?

Thinking About the Gospels (Part 1)

2011-09-12T16:17:00.003+08:00

Here is an example on how awareness of 1st century literary style when reading the Gospels is important:

The Jesus story is tooooo fake!!! I read the first part of the bible story if fit [sic] into todays context, you will realize its the same as a conman story. Just that the people illustrated in the bible seems gullible or maybe uneducated.

If Jesus exists in todays era, do you honestly think u guys will be his disciple and s**t like that?

Example, his disciples Simon and Andrew the fishermens.

Here it goes:

As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” 20At once they left their nets and followed him.

This story is soooo Disney channel fairytale. Someone just ask u follow him then u will immediately follow him?

I try to convince my self that Jesus is the saviour but the more i read the more skeptic i became thats why i stop reading the bible to at least save my doubt towards the bible storyline

This person was posting on a Christian forum thread about his experience reading (presumably) the Gospel of Mark.

You can tell that:

1. He is reading and treating the story of the First Disciples from a modern perspective.

2. The Gospel stories as such read somewhat absurdly (he compares it to a Disney fairy tale, which tells as much how he has been influenced by such narratives)

3. Unfortunately he doesn't read the parallel narrative in Luke 5 which explains in more detail why the disciples decided to follow Jesus

4. Even more importantly, he is not aware that Mark is the shortest gospel and paints events with broad strokes. As such much detail had to be omitted.

Other important considerations - the Gospels were meant to be read aloud, hence had to be kept short. Likewise, scrolls for writing were not cheap or abundant.

Thus, don't expect a description in minute detail - with footnotes - when reading the Gospels.

This is why asking someone to read from the Bible without giving him or her a proper introduction to the genre, style and content of the book is a bad idea.

Another example would be Revelation, which is routinely made fun of, with no awareness whatsoever of the apocalyptic genre. Also Genesis. To be fair, both Christians and non-Christians fall into the same exegetical errors.

Coming back to the Gospels, we should realize that since these are probably the first books to be given to non-believers to be read it should be important to introduce them to the respective books properly. There are traps that people can fall into when reading the Gospels, such as taking Jesus commands literally (e.g. "hating parents").

By emphasizing on what the Gospels meant to the original audience vs. what it means to you (the example cited above is an example of what happens when the reader is left to interpret it entirely by himself, without recourse to other tools) we would have a much clearer message and help cut down on the sort of responses as that of the reader of the Gospel of Mark above.

Thinking About Evil (Part 2)

2011-09-09T19:23:00.003+08:00

Theodicies* often raise more questions than they answer.

In attempting to sketch out a brief theodicy, I make no claim to providing all the answers. In fact, I suspect if there can ever be one - the most satisfactory answer I have heard being was a Christian apologist's final admission of "I don't know".

In a way, it doesn't hurt to say that you are ultimately ignorant of God's intentions (God being God, this is quite understandable).

Here, I will argue that an "imperfect" ("Imperfect" here is an extremely relative term) world may actually be one that is the "best" (Again, a relative term).

The Role Playing World

Almost all role playing games (offline and especially online) have a leveling system whereby a character starts at the level 1 and works his or her way up to a maximum level (or in some cases, there is no limit).

The character often starts without anything and works their way up. They gain experience, items and money.

This is considered to be quite enjoyable, rewarding and even fulfilling for most people.

Yet it raises an interesting question - why don't we have a perfect world where everybody is equal in level and has unlimited money, experience and items? Ask any RPG player and most, if not all, would give you a bewildered look.

This is because anyone who has played such games know that the most fun comes from building up your character and that a character that starts out with a maximum of all possible benefits will bore the player very very quickly.

In my personal experience of cheating to get a maximum of everything immediately, the game gets old very quickly. The excitement and challenge is gone, there is nothing left to do.

Granted, RPGs mimic real life. Yet, if it is so much better to live in a "perfect" world, why do people find such worlds immensely boring, indeed, even silly or "bad"?

And there is a limit to this analogy. People don't really die or get hurt in these games. Yet the basic premises are there and the results are intriguing.

An objection would be that God could create a perfect world where people won't get bored.

Firstly, some religious scriptures do claim this, just not yet.

Secondly, could he actually? Or, would he actually? After all, if he could and if it was better, we would be living in a perfect world right now. Perhaps a world where people need to learn and build themselves up is somehow a better one.

True, the end goal might be perfection or as close to it as we can get.

Yet from experience, an immediate state of perfection often leaves people somehow unsatisfied.

I offer this as a preliminary sketch. My thinking on this, of course, constantly develops.

If, however, I was asked where is the point of a little child being brutally murdered - either for the sake of the sanctity of free will, of learning from experience or for some other higher purpose I would still honestly say, "I don't know".

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* That is, a reconciliation of God and evil.

Thinking About Evil (Part 1)

2011-09-01T17:58:00.004+08:00

It is often argued that a good God would not allow evil* to exist or occur. This argument is usually based not from any particular religious scripture, but on moral intuition.

As it stands, the idea that "God would not allow evil" is at best conjecture. Indeed, many non-theists admit that this is an unfounded theological assumption, to say that God "must not allow evil" - which amounts to saying what God can or cannot do! Of course, they would then go on to say that if such a God would allow evil to occur, then he is not worthy of our worship (another moral intuition).

Let me therefore introduce another reasonable assumption. Suppose God exists and evil exists. Is it not reasonable to assume that our moral abhorrence of evil stems not from ourselves, but from the God who created us?

In this scenario, the same morality which we use to dismiss God is the same morality which was give to us by God.

The question still remains as to why would God allow evil. However, assuming that our knowledge of good and evil is equivalent (actually, I would argue that it is inferior) to that of God we must therefore look to other alternatives as to why a good God would allow evil to exist (rather than concluding that he therefore does not exist, which is a non-sequitur).
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* I would like to note that the problem of evil is not an objection to God's existence but to God's character.

The Quiet Life of a Contemplative Christian

2011-08-16T08:54:00.009+08:00

Prologue

Everyone seeks to place his or her life within the context of a greater story. This can be religion, family or friends, work or a pursuit of a goal. In other words, we need meaning in our life. And how have I framed my last two decades?

Unfortunately I can't say much for the first, but my memory is much clearer for the last ten or so years.

I was raised in a Christian home. I say "Christian home" because this was how our life was framed - with church at Sunday being the "end" (or beginning) of the week. From young I hated Sunday school (you either enjoyed it or hated it) and when older found "youth" gatherings uncomfortable (rare was the occasion where I was ever comfortable among my peers). The worship I never enjoyed (always preferred hymns) and the sermons were immensely boring. I would very much life to blame my lack of appreciation of the latter on myself, but eventually I have come to suspect that the individual in the pulpit had something to do with it as well.

All in all, I was not a very good churchgoing Christian. And yet, why have I chosen to call myself a Christian?

First, a little about the label "Christian". Often, when I am consequently asked, "What kind of Christian?" and I have found the additional labels required unhelpful. Protestant, I believe, is woefully archaic. Charismatic - as the churches I have been going to would have been called - could hardly apply to me (my personality is hardly that interesting nor inspiring). Evangelical may be suitable except that nobody understands it anymore. And don't get me started with the "post-" prefix that seems to be getting stuck onto anything nowadays.

So then, a Christian I am. But the perceptive reader would notice another word stuck in front of Christian in the title. So let me explain that.

The quiet life

Like all introverts, I am drained when I am around others and energized when I am alone (actually a rather crude and simplistic description, but close enough). This is not to say my family and friends don't mean a lot. They mean as much. But solitude is something I very much enjoy as well.

But what is more important is what I do with my time. Have I been productive, useful? I certainly hope so. At least the plans and goals (and for this I am very grateful for the opportunities others have given me) to which I have been able to accomplish.

My job, thankfully, allows me a lot of free time. I have become engrossed (once again) with historical study; reading fiction is now a necessary chore (!). I wish to start writing again, so many stories still in my head. Outlines of some are on paper, still waiting to become pixels on the computer screen.

So then...

A Contemplative Christian

Simply put, my goal is to become thoughtful (which is part of humility - to think before acting, the opposite of which is rashness and pride). Not just as a human being but specifically as a Christian.

How should one be thoughtful?

My listening and not just responding immediately (kneejerk responses usually not the best!). Returning to Scriptures for the Truth. To consider the opinions and arguments of other people. Pray.

My belief is not just a result of a conversion experience (actually I remember none) but also a dialogue with others, believers and non-believers. I have participated in extensive conversations - some extremely edifying, others unhelpfully repetitive. I have spent hundreds of hours in related literature, building upon the thoughts and experience of others. I have learnt immensely.

So What?

Well, I have spent a lot of time talking about myself. Hopefully this gives you some insight to the writer. But I write this not only to share, but to provide a coherent outline of my thoughts.

I have grown and learned a lot. My beliefs and attitudes have changed so many times (and, I hope will continue to do so for the better).

The fact is, I have seen too many people take the end of youth to mean the end of all growth (both literally and symbolically). It does not and cannot mean so. If there's one thing my non-institutional education (wink wink) thought me is that learning is a never ending process. Applying this to every aspect of our life is important and, as a Christian, is crucial.

Let this be my own pledge to continue the race.

S.D.G.

Bersih 2.0 - A Review

2011-07-11T07:58:00.005+08:00

Walking through KL yesterday I could not detect any hint that a massive rally had been held on the day before. It was business as usual. Regardless of your opinion of Bersih, you have to admit that the Malaysian demonstrators have outperformed their first world counterparts (see the recent Greece and Canada rallies and riots) when it comes to peaceful assembly.

For the government though, peaceful or not, it was still an illegal rally and they treated it as such. Teargas (which, at least in the developed world, is only used to disperse violent protestors), arrests (to the police's credit, they released most fairly quickly without charges) and massive propaganda campaigns before and after. My favourite is the advertisement on TV3 where a boy asks why all the shops are closed. The shopkeeper laments that this was due to the rally.

TV aside, a glance through Facebook and I could see some unfortunate folks who got stuck somewhere in KL. At least one was calling Ambiga and Bersih some not very nice adjectives after he got stuck in KL Sentral for several hours. Of course, one can blame Bersih for shutting down public transport and traffic. Some sharp people would point out that it was the government who shut these down, not Bersih. And even more sharper people would point out that if the EC had heeded Bersih's demands there wouldn't be a rally in the first place.

Yellow Shirts, Red Shirts

The Patriot rally was mostly a fizzle (RM50 and free t-shirts don't get you far) and its few memorable moments was a banner calling the rally "BERSHIT" (to which people responded by referring to them as "Patriotaik") and Khairy standing alone being escorted away by a policeman.

Needless to say it was the yellow shirts (actually, much less yellow shirts this time - most joined the rally in standard civilian attire probably due to fear of being targeted for arrest) that carried the day. There wasn't really any hope of making it to Stadium Merdeka and as irony would have it, since the government shut down the stadium they had no choice but to take it to the streets.

Reformasi?

Some made a big deal about the chants for "Reformasi". Is this 1999 all over again? Well, reformasi can mean many things, including reformation for the election system. Slogans aside, the "Allahu akhbar" chants could be disturbing for a few, but in a country where Islam and politics (for good or for ill) have become inseparable this is no surprise.

I have always stated that I agreed with Bersih's goal (reforming the electoral system) but not its ends (rallying to do so). Rallies work better as a means of venting frustration and as a desperate attempt for change (see the Middle East) or as a means of gaining attention to a cause where other democratic means are unavailable (one could not vote to end Black discrimination nor to gain Independence).

But no, I'm not making the "we have elections so why rally?" argument. The Constitution itself guarantees the right to peaceful assembly. Whether the Bersih (or Patriot or whoever) rallies had a point or not is irrelevant. People still are allowed to peacefully demonstrate.

But Bersih's points could be gotten across more clearly. The alternative media's arm is wide open. Publicize how corrupt the electoral system is. Make people realize what the rally really was about (or should have been - most Bersih attendees didn't really come there to express their displeasure at the electoral system but towards the present government)

"Deeply Divided"

After George W. Bush won his second term, Kerry called to congratulate him but also to remark that the country is "deeply divided". Of course, this was a rather obvious statement. The USA is and will continue to be divided at least along Democrat/Republican lines. This is not a such a bad thing but rather a hallmark of mature democracies. People have different views and as such there are different parties to represent them.

In my conversations with others I have found that there are people (surprise) who are not very sympathetic towards Pakatan Rakyat and they have some pretty good reasons. Besides PR's non-existent (or at least, poorly publicized) plan of governance should it come to power, very few people are aware of its agenda. The recent Buku Jingga was a decent effort but almost comically idealistic. Obama's hopeless vague but extremely effective "change" and "hope" slogans won him his presidency but made us realize that in the end, the real world of politics doesn't tolerate such idealisms. (Another case of irony then, as the Obama administration's most memorable achievement was not in healthcare or other reforms but in the "war on terror")

The results of our 2008 General Election should show as much. The popular vote was split nearly evenly (PR's seat gains don't nearly reflect this as much). PR supporters should realize that people still support BN (and BN supporters should realize that support for their coalition is eroding)

Yes, you can still vote. No, don't expect everyone to vote for your favorite party. This is democracy.

Selective Myopia and the Middle-East

2011-05-18T09:22:00.007+08:00

To any observer who has followed the Middle-East uprisings/revolutions intently, one thing is clear - a lot of Arabs are unsatisfied with their governments. But why? Someone once remarked that the Arab dictators were worse than the Zionists. And while criticism of Israel (much of it fair) has been unceasing, especially from the Arab and Muslim nations, there has been an uncomfortable silence from these same nations about the situation in the Middle East.

Reading a report from Bahrain, one of the countries in turmoil, one has to marvel at the entrenched goverments' ability to blame everyone but themselves for the mass protests. And as Robert Fisk devastatingly made clear, many others (including America) have said little on this as well.

And what about Malaysia's response? I read with amusement on the unfortunate fate of MV Finch, still waiting to deliver sewage pipes to Gaza. Meanwhile, Iran's flotilla to Bahrain has been halted as well, Bahrain calling it a "blatant interference in affairs". The Israelis would agree.

Thus one thing is clear, Malaysia and other states remain silent on Bahrain and the other nations facing protests. Perhaps (in Bahrain's case) it's because we're seeing Shi'a protesting against their well connected, oil rich, Sunni rulers.

Maybe, but one thing is for sure - whenever you claim to be against injustice you better not be saying it with one eye closed.

And Then...

2011-03-12T23:44:00.003+08:00

I feel bad, not writing here. I very much would like to share my thoughts. So after three months, I guess you could say I'm back.

I've got a lot of stuff I could just copy and paste here, as "filler". And maybe I'll do that. But for now, here is what's coming up:-

1. After nearly a year at an IT firm, I can proudly say that i. I have one year of real working experience ii. More than enough stories/experiences to write something worthwhile, fiction or non-fiction (or maybe both) iii. A fair bit of money saved up.

2. A bunch of essays on movies, books and other stuff I've been consuming the past year or so. There's a lot that I've yet to write down and I suppose here's where I should commit my thoughts.

Other things - After three years of "college" I realize that a degree is something not to take lightly; that you should never try to do it just for the sake of doing it. I tell that to everyone who says they're just studying for the sake of studying. Don't. And for those who are doing business because they have no idea what else to do. DON'T.

I want to travel. Haven't in a long while. Right now I'm caught between two choices (both of which are within my budget). One month in a few nice European countries or overland journey across Asia. Hmm...

Old Year/New Year

2010-12-31T10:14:00.004+08:00

This year passed exceptionally quickly. It could be many things, probably how my life has settled into routine, probably because the days have literally begun to become shorter (actually, it is likely because the older you get the faster your perception of time becomes).

I remembered I made some resolutions about one year ago today. Well, I can't remember them now except one, which was to read 100 books for this year. So naturally, I haven't fulfilled it but I did get pretty darn close (97% hah!). I could have cheated with some quick reads, but decided to plod it through some challenging and fascinating tomes (I'm currently a little ways through The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet, one of the most enjoyable works I've had the pleasure to read).

Work has taken a whole lot of time from my other pursuits, but I've begun to manage. Spend less time on the PC, I've found, and you have a lot of time for other things. I don't mind this, considering that the PC is my job and by the time I get back I'm sick of it.

One thing I would like to work on for the next year - more writing (or writing more?). My efforts at stories longer than a few thousand words have never taken off and I recall now a writer's all too true observation that novels are a voracious eater of ideas - you run out of them very quickly.

Another curious thing is how I find movies less and less entertaining. Or maybe I've spoiled myself on too much classics and coupled with the lower quality of movies released this year. I have a dozen or so "critically acclaimed" movies sitting in my hard disk that I've yet to watch, so we'll see.

And yes, my project idea still remains fresh in my mind. I conceived it back in 2008 and once I collect enough funds, will get it started in early 2012. So next year will be just sitting back in my already comfortable job, getting the monthly paychecks and dreaming of a better life. Ah, if only.

Closing Date

2010-12-16T22:04:00.002+08:00

There are two of the most obvious things that young people seem to forget. One, that we will die and two, that we will grow old.

"When you grow older, your expectations and ambitions become less and less" I have heard many people say. Some even add "until you are happy with what you are at the moment". Now I'm quite sure that the first half is true although if the second half was also true, self-help books wouldn't be doing so well.

Working offers a chance for comparison and benchmarks with other people. I probably am the youngest person in the office and as such note that down whenever I see someone ten years older than me earning the same amount of money I do. That is a somewhat sad thought, not just for that person (because we don't get paid a lot, not for what we do) but also for me. Will I be like that as well, ten years from now?

The older you grow the faster time passes, I notice. Is it because we have more to occupy ourself with? It's true I find my days remarkably short and unfortunately quite routine. Even during the happier times when there was only me and books it was, uh, just me and books all the time.

So then I occupy myself with plans and projects to (occupy myself?) perhaps break from my staid existence. But I realize also that someone as remarkably blessed as me (I say this with gratefulness) should also pause and think before demanding more for myself. I already have so much.

But times will change. I will be called upon to "support" my family (unless I leave this life and become but a wonderer, what a nice thought). I maybe just maybe, end up working in a cubicle until I retire (sneer at this thought as much as you will, but the families who are being supported by those same people won't be so snobbish).

I realize I no longer am a child and I'm glad. I think retirement, the so called period of endless rest after a long period of toil is a bad idea. There is rest and there is work and for both I believe there will be no end.

What's next after this? Well, work - but I'm saving money for an idea. Here's to hoping it works. =)

P.S. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year.

Copying Text

2010-11-28T22:52:00.005+08:00

"To steal a book is an elegant offense" so goes an old Chinese saying. Is there any difference therefore, between downloading an MP3 of Lady Gaga and procuring a digital copy of an Economics textbook (16th edition, revised monthly)?

Well, I leave the ethical/moral discussions of such scenarios to those who have time (and of course, the money) but for me I began thinking about it a little further when I was browsing through Kakutani's top 10 books of 2010 and downloaded almost all the books listed within minutes. Such a thing is most interesting for e-books because only a few years ago (by that I mean pre-Kindle days, or the year 2006) such a feat would be impossible. E-book proliferation (and by extension, piracy) has indeed come a long way.

To be frank, I've downloaded my fair share of books (and movies and music, but mostly books). I realized such a collection would have cost an enormous amount of money had I legally purchased all of them (then again, I would not have purchased them in the first place). One thing's for sure - I got one heck of an education that most people who chose to go a "legal" route would've only dreamed about.*

Now here's another good question for the armchair ethicists (aren't we all!) out there - should such education be withheld from the common folk simply because of financial (and copyright and whatever) considerations? On one hand, I think content creators should be paid for their efforts. On another, the educational benefits of unleashing all that text and making them available to the masses for little to no cost may almost certainly outweigh all other considerations. Here's one to think about.

______________________________________________________

* But of course, if you have a great library in your town (and could borrow most of their books there), then you could also have a similar education for free.**

**This does not apply if you live in Malaysia.

23/11/2010

2010-11-23T10:32:00.005+08:00

Five years later, my college education draws to a close. I have learnt many things and as it so happens most of those things aren't remotely related to my degree. I now know that it is better to wait than pick a course for the sake of picking one. I was told when we began that this was for those who were unsure.

I was unsure, initially. A few years in however, I began to be quite sure. But it was too late. Do I regret? Well, not really. I've probably spent more time studying other things that what I was supposed to study in my course. I grown rather cynical of institutionalized education and at the same time still wish to study in a decent university.

Well, being trained in business, I still have no business plans of my own. I only have what I call "projects" - highly expensive with an unknown return on investment. But it would still be fun to try.

Predators

2010-10-04T00:21:00.006+08:00

Missed it in the cinemas so finally just got around to watch it. Firstly, to comment on the first two Predator films (AvP doesn't count). The first will always be a B-classic and by virtue of being well, the first, will be considered the best. The second transposed the setting from a natural to a concrete jungle with abysmal results.

Predators relies heavily on the first - from the setting, the music to scenes that are directly lifted (actually, homaged) from the first. The characters are much more interesting and diverse. I never thought Adrian Brody could pull off the strong, silent soldier type (to think that he is practically filling the shoes of Schwarzenegger) but he does it surprisingly well. Laurence Fishburne has an all too short but decent appearance.

So yes, it is one of the best movies in the franchise but at the same time it is still part of a franchise. Old tropes are recycled and it's quite clear who will live and who will die. At the same time, the first hour or so of the film is effectively tense and entertaining. The film also touches on slightly deeper themes, an allegory (if you wish to take such liberties) on the violent man.

One of the more entertaining films of the year, I'd say.

Part 5 - Man

2010-10-02T02:06:00.002+08:00

They say that a man can never understand a woman.

Judging from history, I don't it's gender related.

We never understood each - other man or woman.

Meanwhile I always wonder why some people take their work so seriously.

Sure, it's what you do to survive (Really? I could probably survive without having to sit on a desk in front of an LCD monitor. But I admit it would be a rather spartan existence) but when someone took out her frustration on me I was not angry. I was amused rather.

Lady, you're taking your job way too seriously.

Part 4 - God

2010-10-02T02:02:00.000+08:00

Do you believe in God?

If you do, why do you believe in God?

Give three reasons:
1.
2.
3.

Since you were unable to give any reason why you believe in God, do you think you should still believe in God?

Part 3 - The Meaning of Life

2010-10-02T02:01:00.001+08:00

Sample:

Capitalist (do they even exist?) - Money

Westminster - To glorify God

Humanist - Form meaningful relationships with others that bring meaning to your life.

Several million players - 25 killstreak (tactical nuke, of course)

Many others, of course. As they say, pick one.

(Assuming there's no difference but even if there is, who's to say what's the meaning of life?)

Part 2 - The Opiate of the Masses

2010-10-02T01:53:00.001+08:00

(Not religion. Religion makes everyone miserable.)

Sex.
Drugs.
Dreams that you're worth something.

Part 1 - The Human Condition

2010-10-02T01:45:00.001+08:00

1. While the nihilist writes his specious magnum opus (On his Dell Laptop, no less. Wifi courtesy of Starbucks)

2. The six year old Somalian dies of diarrhea

3. His parents are bittersweet in his death (one less mouth to feed)

4. The guard plays Snake on his pink Nokia Phone (this I am not making up)

5. I earn as much as my colleague who went to study engineering for 4 years overseas. (Hah)

If emotion rules your life, you're pathetic.
If it's logic, you'll convince a few people and then what.

6. Said nihilist shoots himself in the head.

7. An aid worker talks to the family of the dead boy, telling about her life. She lived with her parents in a small apartment. In the morning the cars in the highway would fill the air with a constant drone and nearby there is a bakery which makes the nices bread so she says. They smile and nod and think would it not be nice to live in such a place.

FYI

2010-09-24T09:56:00.002+08:00

Looks like my lycaphim@gmail.com account has been compromised; following up with Google to recover it.

Ignore the spam coming from it. Sigh.

Re-education

2010-09-22T10:26:00.007+08:00

Most people are happy to lament about the state of their country's education but are usually more hesitant to offer a solution. The solution most of my countrymen can think of is learn more. This usually involves sending their children (or themselves) to tuition. I have nothing against tuition, but of course it's a telling sign - when you go to tuition, immediately you are saying that school isn't enough.

The problem is I don't have much experience with the public schools of my country. I've only tasted such a school for about 5 years, before leaving to my "own" school. Still, I do wonder what is the answer to the question of "How should we educate our children?".

I venture to offer a reply that quite a number of people would have a hard time with - there is no one right way. It's safe to say that every human is unique. I would carry on to say, ergo, no human can be taught (or more accurately, learns) in the same way.

But this is the whole idea of schools. To sit a group of people in a classroom and have them hear the exact same thing. I think this is untenable. So to this I offer a few suggestions:

Let people choose what they want to study - When it comes to college or university, this is a given (except, perhaps for those with pushy parents). For primary and secondary, lots of questions will be asked on this. I admit, there should be some "compulsory" subjects - I can think of basic arithmetic and languages. But every other subject should be optional.

In my experience, going without school allowed me to pick up subjects that I would not have otherwise learned - such as IT (a hobby which now happens to be my job), theology (hah), philosophy and many others. I studied those things because I wanted to.

Rethinking exams - For many their whole education builds up to a few days where they take a series of tests, supposedly determining their future. I dislike such an idea of exams - even as I think that exams are a necessary tool for evaluating students. We should not shape our education around examinations. Nor should we judge students entirely by those exams.

I think we can learn from the trend to assess students based on both the results from their assignments and examinations (the course I'm currently undertaking is almost entirely based on assignments alone). While some deride this as a lowering in standards, I think it's important to remember that the so called pinnacle in one's education, the PhD, is not gained by answering a series of objective and subjective questions.

Institutionalized education, I suspect, leads us to compartmentalize our learning. We go to school, come back, study a little and relax. Once school is over, learning is over. For me, I'm twenty years old and I'm not even started.

Misc. Notes 29/8/10

2010-08-29T10:43:00.002+08:00

With all this talk about abolishing the death penalty in the country, I thought I'd give a plug to this movie which was one of the best made films of 2009 and a kind of movie that is rarely seen nowadays. It's a decades long story about a murder case and the lives changed by it. Along the way it makes one of the persuasive cases against sentencing someone to death.

Interest in colour.

2010-08-21T22:08:00.003+08:00

Every time I hear about an issue with race in my country (which means everyday) and which usually involves one race crying out that they are being endangered (as always, by another race), I am reminded of a parable as told by Jesus. To paraphrase and make relevant that parable somewhat:

A Malay man is waylaid and robbed on the roadside. Another Malay drives past, sees the injured man and quickly drives off. Somewhat later, an Indian man sees the victim and drives him to the hospital, paying all his medical bills.

Who, do you think, is that man's neighbour?

I am tired of people of one race (or ethnicity or skin colour; whichever taxanomical word you prefer) feeling endangered and threatened by others. As if their "own" kind will treat them any better.

To dream

2010-08-21T19:37:00.004+08:00

I've met my fair share of disillusioned adults. The common theme is that when they were young they were full of passion and energy. Naturally, as the years went on, they realized that they could not actually take on the world anymore. So much for dreams and hopes.

"Wait till you're older" is what I'm told often. Indeed, time is one of the greatest judge of all things. I am 20 years old and I realize how much I've grown. When I was eleven and had just left school there was absolutely nothing for me to do. And then on a rainy evening, with nothing to do, I sat down and typed out my first real story on our new PC.

And from then onwards, I knew quite clearly what I wanted to be "when I am grown up", despite the occasional advice to be a businessman here and a lawyer there. I've had occasional detours along the way, but I always somehow ended back on the main road.

Right now, this is a detour albeit a necessary one. I'm young and full of dreams and hopes. At the very least I should try. Dear time, at least allow me that.

To learn.

2010-08-21T12:39:00.004+08:00

On quite a few occasions in conversations with strangers and acquaintances the topic of my education comes up. Very often shock and awe is expressed as I tell them that I didn't quite attend "school".

All homeschoolers follow a curriculum. I had my own. Rather than following the educational philosophies of a bunch of North Americans (ha), I decided to learn what I wanted to learn.

Now this tends to raise questions. Perhaps I missed out on a few "essential" areas of study? Indeed, I did miss out on quite a few areas if you consider physics, chemistry, additional mathematics (a uniquely Asian subject, I noticed) as compulsory life skills.

But somehow I've survived. My knowledge is extremely uneven, that I admit. In the place of equations (the beauty of which I've sadly yet to grasp) I substituted the study of ideas, dreams and doings of (mostly) dead white men. They would be known as history, philosophy and maybe theology. I've picked up what would be called Information Technology skills as well, something which is helping me most tremendously in my current job.

In my current state of busyness I've sadly fallen far short in the schedule of my grand education plan (indeed, who does not?). I remember, of course, that knowledge does not equal wisdom and that learning for the sake of learning is a time-waster that is admirable but a time-waster nonetheless.

But enough about my experiences. To learn what you want to learn. That's a radical thought. Almost like saying do whatever you want to do. Actually, it's the exact same thing. We're too afraid to let our young do what they want to do. And we probably have good reasons for that. But there is mostly bad reasoning behind the current process. I'm not just referring to the local education system of this country (indeed, people in the US [1] and Europe [2] have expressed the same concerns about their own educational systems).

I chose to do what I wanted to do. I have no regrets for not reading the textbooks I was supposed to read and for not going to the classes I was supposed to be in. But I do regret one thing - now that I have looked beyond the teachers and the classroom walls, I only see a vast sea of knowledge I dare not swim in.

___________________________________________________

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waiting_for_Superman

2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG9CE55wbtY

Logs of War

2010-07-27T09:37:00.002+08:00

The publishing of "The War Logs" by Wikileaks [1] has been seen as a seminal moment by many, comparable to the release of the Pentagon Papers. And while I think this is a great leap forward for freedom of information and brings renewed attention to an increasingly futile "war", I suspect that by making the U.S. once again the target of global scorn, this will only draw attention away from countries that should also be brought into the light.

To name a few: China, North Korea, Iran. I take a special interest in China especially - I have read and heard all too many stories of abuses of government officials (see this revealing case [2]).

Transparency, like sunlight, should shine down on everyone.

Inception

2010-07-16T21:41:00.004+08:00

Not much superlatives this time. Ah, where do I start.

Firstly, Christopher Nolan has saved the summer. We had the disappointing Iron Man 2, the so-so Robin Hood and the dreadful Prince of Persia. Let's just say The Last Airbender doesn't count. There's Toy Story 3, but unfortunately no decent entertainment for the more sophisticated set (ha).

Until now.

Inception is about dreams. Best description? Imagine The Matrix as a heist film. The whole idea about entering dreams (besides the having fun part) is so that you could steal ideas. In this case, however, our ensemble attempts to plant one. Ah, gone are the days when there was truth serum and low-tech Manchurian candidate mind-control.

The whole concept is very,very interesting. The execution could have been better. Nolan can't have it both ways - a movie set in a dream world, which by definition is wispy and evanescent. Instead he treats us to a world as lucid as The Matrix. It's a slightly complicated story. The framing and editing of the scenes don't help, and I am always unimpressed with films who chop up their chronology in order to look complex.

I confess I am a little disappointed. Come on - you're in a dream world with infinite possibilities for an action sequence and all we get is a generic car and snowmobile chase, the latter much less entertaining than the one found in Modern Warfare 2. There is, however, an outstanding but all too short zero- gravity sequence. Give me more folding cities, please.

Inception is one of those stories that seems to cry out for multiple viewings. I would say that isn't quite necessary - despite it's many layers, it's easily deciphered if you're quick enough. Satisfying and disappointing.

Movie Notes - 15/05/10

2010-05-15T13:18:00.001+08:00

Robin Hood - Origins story of the fabled archer. In a time where LOTR has many sword and shield battles redundant, the generic battle climax shows an insensitivity to the need for product differentiation. Nevertheless, the middle portions of the story are most enjoyable as we see Robin's fortuitous rise to glory and eventually, to become that famed outlaw.

Kick Ass - What would have been a heroic (and realistic) story of a non-hero devolves into yet another series of superhero battles, culminating in yet another assault-on-boss'-HQ sequence. Certain parties have raised questions over an 11 year old character (actually 13) involved in scenes of violence, although one does wonder if she were 7 years older then that would be okay. Is there an age of consent for violence?

Waiting for a theophany.

2010-05-12T18:51:00.001+08:00

I have never had a "religious experience".

I have not attempted to ascribe any curious incidents that may have occurred to me to undigested portions of meat, euphoria caused by the electric guitar or what have you - simply because I have not had any.

To know God, so we are told, is to not simply know God. The demons know God, and they shudder. But a Christian, for example, knows God in another way. He knows God "personally". She needs to have a "relationship" with God. Not just of the head, but of the heart

Notice the dualism here - the head is rational, the heart is emotional. Both are needed, but if there is to be only one, then it should be the heart. But need I point out the obvious fact that the heart's main and only known function is to pump blood and not to generate feelings of joy or sadness?.

I do not understand such things. Should I treat God like my father? But I can see my father. I can talk to him and have him respond immediately. God remains silent - by that I mean he does not reply as your friend would when you ask him a question.

So clearly God is not a visible human being to which we can sit down with and talk to. He is not visible but he is nevertheless there, or so we are told. Yet we are to treat him like a close friend, a father or whatever anthropomorphic relationship model you have.

How then, should we treat God? At the very least, it should be evident, our relationship with such a being would not be like those we have with family and friends - the visible human beings we interact with daily. So why do people continue to frame their discourse as such - that God is knowable like a human being?

I have heard and read countless stories of miracles, voices from God, from saints, from angels, from demons. I have never experienced such things.

Many say that they believe in God/gods because of such experiences. I do not doubt their sincerity. Unfortunately, I have never had the benefit of such events occurring to me and as such lack such proof.

So throughout the ten years or so I have understood what "God" is, my belief was sustained in something other than direct, sensory experience of such a being. It was belief based on knowledge - head knowledge, some might say derogatorily. (As an aside, is there a difference between someone who believes but does not understand and someone who understands but does not believe?)

I do believe that there is a God. But all this while I have noted something. I have been waiting for the silver bullet, the justifying evidence. The appearance of a God before me. This has hindered my assurance somewhat. And now after many years, I think it is time to let go.

I no longer expect an angel of the Lord or the Lord himself to appear before me. But like a jungle native who has never experienced snow, that does not mean I should not believe in a foreigner's description of such a thing. And my feeling is that we should not let others think that they must have such an experience as well - lest they see themselves as inferiors.

To those who somehow can frame their relationship with God as a parent, brother, friend - may they be edified. To others who might never had a parent or brother or friend and who thus cannot understand God in such terms (and yet believe in him anyway), all the better.

I do have parents, brother and friends. Yet I cannot see God in such a way. I am unable to do so, for reasons I am not sure of. Instead I see him as God. I know him from scripture. I might also have understood him from natural revelation. He is distant, yet he is close. He has spoken once and for all (in scripture) and yet he continues to speak (through nature). Has he spoken in my ear, like a human being? No. Do I expect him to? No. Should I? I don't think so.

God has revealed himself enough so that some may believe and has hidden enough so that many others refuse to believe.

To those who have seen, I envy you. Yet I suppose for those who have not seen and yet believed, blessed are they.

And On the Seventh Billionth Year...

2010-04-15T18:59:00.006+08:00

Somewhere in the far corner of a world, there is a "controversy" stirring about a seminary professor's resignation due to his (positive) views on evolution [1]. That is an interesting piece of news; what is more interesting, however, is the reaction. Consider this opinion piece posted on a blog [2], who claims that theistic evolution (i.e. God-guided evolution) is a "hermeneutical trojan horse":

The hermeneutics behind theistic evolution are a Trojan horse that, once inside our gates, must cause the entire fortress of Christian belief to fall under the humanistic sword.

That's a valid point about a slippery slope, and the author of the blog post also asks "What will science make of the virgin birth, the miracles of Jesus, and the resurrection?"

Another good point.

But that is only if someone assumes naturalism (by this I mean natural and not supernatural explanations of the world take priority, if not being the only possible explanation) from the outset. Assuming that the professor who resigned believes in the miraculous resurrection of Jesus Christ, then it is clear he does not hold to that belief.

From history we know that what was once ascribed a supernatural explanation is now no longer, although a Peretti enthusiast might object if a psychiatrist were to ascribe a mental illness to natural causes, and not demons.

I do not wish to compare the church's treatment of evolution to, say, geocentrism. (We do not have 400 years behind us to make that judgement - yet) Biblical interpretation does take importance if you believe in such things as inerrancy. If you do, but you also believe that evolution is solid science, then I suppose you ought to begin some reconciliation processes.

File Sneaks

2010-03-22T08:19:00.002+08:00

So I hear they want to change the term piracy, as it is too " adventurous" a word [1]. Funny, I always thought piracy gave the impression of some cheap, scummy group of people but I guess we have to thank Johnny Depp for giving them some good PR.

How about "file sneaks"? For those who don't know, it's inspired by a much earlier term in the 1930s called "book sneaks". The publishing industry that time was looking for a "pejorative word for the book borrower, the wretch who raised hell with book sales and deprived authors of earned royalties." (The Late Age of Print, pg. 35)

Yes you read right. If you lent your book to someone, you are depriving authors of badly needed royalties, you dastardly thing.

Thankfully, this is not 80 years ago. And 80 years from now piracy and its enemies will be a historical relic. Remember all the complaints about radio killing album sales? Say what?

The copyright advocates (at least, those who advocate copyright in its present form) know they are losing. I'd say they are going down in a burning, sinking ship. It's not going to be survival of the fittest, but more like change or die. The future will be (mostly) free, thanks to piracy. Only those who can afford it and want to will pay for content. In the meanwhile, let the others enjoy their Photoshop CS3.

That's just my opinion, although me working on a book-length treatise in defense of file-sharing (a.k.a. piracy) probably has something to do with it.

Misc. 18/03/10

2010-03-18T08:28:00.002+08:00

Woke up to this:

Hoteliers should not offer rooms at too low a rate as it will give an impression to foreigners that their services and rooms are of poor quality, said Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak. [Source]

Now I don't know where our Prime Minister seems to be getting his advice (assuming he is advised on these matters), but it doesn't make good sense. Low prices are a natural result of competition, especially in the hyper-competitive KL city centre hotel business. And most hotels are franchised anyway - a Hilton is a Hilton wherever you go, as with Westin, Ritz Carlton etc. And if the 5 stars are not willing to lower their prices, then the comparable 4 stars (e.g. Impiana) will.

The PM also notes that such an approach will not increase sales - wow, is he spending his time looking at the hotel books? Obviously, he does not understand why the grand 5 star hotels, who have been in this business for quite some time, would want to lower their prices (hint: to attract sales)

As a former purchaser, I dealt with innumerable hotels and I can say that if he is refers to hotel rack rates as under-priced, then the corporate rates we MNCs are getting would make these hotels looks like mamak shops.

Now if he means that low prices by themselves give foreigners an impression that hotels are of low quality, then are we going to ask our restaurants, shopping centres and private hospitals to raise their prices? Unless I'm mistaken, foreigners come to our country precisely for these "cheap" things. If they wanted expensive + high quality things they'd go to Europe.

Alright, /rant.

Misc. 10/03/10

2010-03-10T18:32:00.003+08:00

Alice in Wonderland - enough with the post-processed 3D already. Not sequel or reboot. Fan fiction. Also note the bizarre feminist ending. Disney has both lost and gained my respect.

Flu. Does this have to happen everytime I go to a shopping centre? One thing about staying at home is that you don't get viral flu often.

Also, asked what I wanted to do after this again. After this as in, get a job you're grown up already. This is what you get when you start college 3 years early.

Rest.

Daydream nation.

2010-03-03T09:47:00.004+08:00

Currently juggling literature, history, philosophy, theology all at one go. As usual. In my readings of Japanese fairy tales, I can't help but note the marked contrast with say, that of Aesop or the sanitized tales from Old Europe. But I suppose that's the keyword, sanitized. Consider this story, which puts many a Hollywood tale of vengeance to shame.

But really, besides that, most tales lack what some would call coherence. But again, I view this from a (Western?) perspective where characters have motivations and purposes and plots have tidy endings. Some of the stories (Japanese) that I've read are rather baffling - with one part seemingly having no connection to another.

I've begun on theology again, after a long while. Looks like I'm slowly working my way from burn-out. I'm pretty much fed up with most of the churches I've attended - and as a result my empathy with the emergent critique on today's mainline evangelical churches has increased. But throughout the years, oh, about five of them, my theology hasn't quite budged. Perhaps my empathy/sympathy for other perspectives have. But that's healthy, I think.

This is still my model of a comprehensive confession of faith which I subscribe to, and probably won't change anytime soon.

Misc. - 2/3/10

2010-03-02T16:34:00.003+08:00

Well, now that the wrath of politicians and certain consumers are directed towards Toyota, Honda and now GM is into the recall business. Looks like it's an okay thing to do now that Toyota has come out. So what's the big issue? (Answer: There isn't.) It's not like Toyota is selling HIV infected blood and the good news for consumers is that they're going all out to win back the business.

College assignments are moving forward. Slowly. The nice part about writing about business but not actually doing it? You can pull "facts" out nowhere. Really, it's okay to do so. Call it best estimates and informed guesses. Some are writing about their own companies. I ground my work in the organization with the most information possible. Double the tedium as sources are external (if it's your own company, you're your own source) but I suppose actual learning is tripled.

I realize that sometimes you can't just know everything. I've been averaging 3 books a week, and while I can clearly see that my abilities to grasp certain issues have been getting better, I likewise can see more clearly that nothing beats going out and seeing/doing it. Indeed, in my 6 month stint at an MNC, I learned more about business than 3 years at college.

Parting note - I have an almost Hegelian obsession for synthesizing propositions. Which might be bad, but I still like the smug feeling it gives me to know that I am smarter than both sides. Try it sometime.

Stuck, with deadlines.

2010-02-24T14:06:00.003+08:00

Assignments annoy me. Our quaint college policy of going all assignments (therefore no exams) may be good for some, but I procrastinate. Now, the company that I'm writing on (Toyota) is having some, uh, issues. More things to write, if I knew what to write about.

Writing about not being able to write seems to be good therapy for me. So here it is.

In the meanwhile, Call of Pripyat is occupying my time nicely, and Aliens vs. Predator is just in line. Also, two major assignments of which will probably decide the fate of my degree. Nice.

Mono @ KLPac 2010

2010-02-02T12:42:00.000+08:00

Melodic, loud and thoroughly immersive.

Reading Without Paper

2010-01-29T14:58:00.004+08:00

When paper first came out, the Egyptians said they still preferred the look and feel of their solid stone tablets. I jest, of course, but the common issue brought up when it comes to e-book readers is that paper is still better (these are the same people who would have no problem spending hours reading blogs and websites on their LCD and, my goodness, CRT screens).

What follows is an apologia and survey of e-book readers. Now that Apple's iPad is released (which has been hailed as Kindle's greatest challenger) we have a clearer picture of the state of the market today.

For Malaysians theStar's feature on ebooks are a good place [1][2] to familiarize yourself with the scene.

Firstly, what most would call the "proper" E-Reader's are E-Ink based devices. The Sony Reader and Amazon's Kindle are two of the most well-known. E-Ink basically offers the closest thing you'll get to ink on paper and has the advantage of low power consumption as it only needs it whenever you "flip" a page.

Apple's iPad on the other hand is basically an LCD based device, so it's not all that different than reading from your computer screen (if you have an iPhone or iPod touch, it's basically a bigger version of that).

Good old book (left) with E-Ink based device (right). Click for higher detail.

I personally am biased towards E-Ink readers - they work best when it comes to novels and general non-fiction (two of the main things I'm reading). I also read textbooks (with some adjustments) and the occasional manga (manga not comics, because manga is primarily black and white). My paperless (more like cheapskate) college only provides the lecture notes as softcopy, so that saves on my printing costs too.

For those more inclined towards colour and larger books, then probably the iPad (or your netbook) works best.

Adapting to reading on an e-reader is quite easy, especially if you read a lot and so adjust more quickly. The main drawback then, is the initial investment required. MPH Malaysia is currently selling a 5 inch e-reader (6 inches is the industry standard) for RM1299 [3] which I think is slightly pricy, considering that you can get the same device here for cheaper.

My own e-reader was purchased at the nice price point of RM990 (although if it spoils, I'll have to fork out postage fees to Taiwan.)

Really though, the convenience of carrying around hundreds of books in a single device is worth the purchase cost. As for books itself, while Amazon is not selling in Malaysia yet, there are numerous other stores [4] as well as all the free public domain books available.

But in the end, e-readers are for the voracious readers. The one book a month or "I never read books" folks or even paper purists will find it hard to justify such a purchase. Personally, I am enjoying reading without paper.

Broga

2010-01-20T19:32:00.009+08:00

Recent two-hour excursion to Broga Hill was unexceptional. At least it was named right - Gunung Angsi (Mountain) is shorter than Maxwell Hill. I guess names aren't just reliable. Went in the middle of the afternoon to avoid the crowds. Great panorama of palm, jungle and kampung but other than that not much.

I have always been unimpressed at what our country has to offer. Of course I know a fair number of Europeans who dream of having their honeymoon in Langkawi (not impressed, either), that the grass is greener on the other side, so on and so forth.

My aesthetic is frankly Continental, and I am unashamed to admit that much. Most beautiful (actually, more like surreal) local sight for me would be the granite peak of Mt. Kinabalu in moonlight, but other than that, meh.

Pics below.

Ten Favourite Films, 2009

2010-01-18T11:41:00.014+08:00

10. A Serious Man

The Coens are back at their usual unusual brand of thoughtful comedy.

________________________________

9. In the Loop

I may be stereotyping, but only the Brits would come up with one of the best political satires in recent times. Peter Capaldi's character is tastelessly sublime.

________________________________

8. Un Prophète (A Prophet)

Any contribution to the rise-to-greatness genre of gangster movies will always have to be in the shadow of the Godfather, but Jacques Audiard pulls off a compelling story with a classic ending.

________________________________

7. Invictus

Predictable? Sure. It's a dramatized true underdog story. Eastwood modulates the hamminess and Freeman plays a subtle Mandela. Could be much better, but well done nonetheless.

________________________________

6. Moon

Wins the breath of fresh air award for its contribution to the sci-fi genre. Simple, intelligent and tense.

________________________________

5. Das Weiße Band (The White Ribbon)

When we have children talking about God, death and blamed for bizarre accidents, we know we're watching something bold and intent on provoking. I found all of its 144 minutes compelling.

________________________________

4. The Cove

The best documentary of 2009. The Cove seeks only to show its viewers what it objects to. In this case, dolphin killing. Go and watch it; not much more needs to be said.

________________________________

3. Up In The Air

About the meaning of life with special regard to the white-collars.

________________________________

2. Inglorious Basterds

If there ever was an Oscar for Best Conversations by the Table, this would surely take it.

________________________________

1. Avatar

Cameron resets the bar. Others have to follow suit. Oh, joy.

2010, to do (might do).

2010-01-12T15:41:00.003+08:00

The religion of the working class is "keep busy", which offers more existential peace of mind than any god or godless system can. Well, I'm not a usually busy person. I delight in having my calender empty. Still, it wouldn't hurt to do something once in a while.

Mono concert, end of the month. Smaller locale, just hope the sound is just as good as the Mogwai one. Hymn to the Immortal Wind sounded like a movie soundtrack, but a darned good one. I'm looking forward, of course.

Both of my brothers have returned to school. Honestly, I have always told every curious soul that homeschooling is all or nothing. Still, institutions offer that much more security than learning in the four walls of one's home. But of course; even we homeschoolers go to colleges and universities.

College is almost over. Time to think of a thesis project. Sometimes I regret starting so early, which leads to the big looming "to do" - get a job. No more comments on that now.

And yes, I like playing more than working, so the second installments of Mass Effect and Bioshock I'm looking forward to. Both have high expectations to live to; the latter's first installment basically marked the day video games grew up (or was it Half Life 2?). Either way, they are only a few weeks away.

I don't expect to go somewhere this year. Indeed, for 2009, I basically only traveled between two cities. 2011, though? If all goes well, I'll be crossing out half of my "to visit" list.

No New Year's resolutions - time to admit they're useless for me. I never was a goal oriented person. Just a person with a long lists of wants and no idea how to get them. But oh, I'm learning.

Oh, then.

2010-01-05T13:06:00.003+08:00

Last year was disappointing. I wrote too little, both here and elsewhere. But it was also inspiring. I learned so much (too much even). I worked in a multi-national for half a year and came out wiser. College will finish soon; I will be two decades old.

What I don't like about this year? The fact that I now have to work in a job that I would not like. What's more, the job I would like to do isn't really a job at all. Not for the time being.

So once again, I occupy my time with my own personal projects. Movie season (for me) is reaching it's peak and I find that 2009 was also disappointing in this regard. Oddly enough, my studies in storytelling has taken a great leap from me playing so many (video) games. I guess alternative forms of media do help you break out. On a side note, I averaged ten books a month.

And then there's the career choice bit, which I admit I have sunk too little time into. The questions keep coming, and soon you're used to blurting out the supposedly truthful "I don't know." But really, we're just bullshitting ourselves here. You always knew.

When I was 7 years old I wanted to write stories.

I still do.

Avatar

2009-12-22T22:48:00.003+08:00

Rarely does a movie exceed my expectations. Believe it or not, Transformers (first one) did that and so does Avatar. I first read about it 3 years ago and does time fly. So after my first (3D) viewing, I can safely say that this is yet another special one. Special as in no movie will ever come close to this, not for another 3 years or so. Avatar is a movie that stands alone on its visual innovation and strength.

What makes it so special? Not the plot, hardly. If you are looking for sophistication in terms of storytelling and other technical innovations, then Citizen Kane threw down a gauntlet few have ever successfully picked up. Avatar is a mish-mash of various themes, from Pocahantas to Call Me Joe. Cameron stands on a lot of people here.

And so perhaps what will leave a lot of people in wonder will be the delicately detailed scenes of the Pandoran wilderness. Cameron draws from his underwater experience here and delivers visuals that are, well, truly special. The "3D" does not add or subtract to the experience (I still have serious reservations to this medium), so I don't think the 2D viewers will miss anything.

It's a novel experience, and that's truly a hard to find thing in this age of sequels and reboots. But what's more exciting is that Avatar, if not a benchmark, should be at the very least a driving force for others to do better. I'll be holding my breath.

Draft: 7

2009-11-23T21:18:00.003+08:00

All stories are first conceived in the head, then put to paper (with exceptions) then onto whatever medium it is intended for.

This raises an interesting question - do stories get better once they leave the confines of the page (some never do)? Do they get worse (i.e. adaptation decay)?

We can all agree that some stories are best told visually and others better left in print (or perhaps, in the hands of a better screenwriter). I am personally inclined to a visual medium, but to be frank some stories (though not all) I intend to write would prove to be somewhat difficult to put to film.

I'll have to stick with my pen and PC for the time being. Although I am still thinking as to whether the story is important, or the way it is presented. It may very well be both,. Even so, one still has to start with the all important first step - writing that darn tale down.

This will be first challenge. I suppose I'll worry about later, later.

Army of Shadows

2009-11-10T13:07:00.004+08:00

Interrogation.

It's been a while since I reviewed a movie proper. So naturally, I decided to jump straight into the good stuff.

Pierre-Melville's Army of Shadows is no boring art-film, despite the long drawn out scenes, gloomy tinting and monologue meditations. This film relies instead on pointing out the ironies and inconsistencies of its human characters, not to mention the numerous (and masterfully tense) sequences of escape, rescues and executions. It isn't entertaining at all - but it is most certainly engaging.

Army of Shadows depicts the French Resistance in 1940's occupied France in its most unromantic form (indeed, as in that period there were more French fighting for Germany than against).

There is a scene where a resistance leader (in London) watches Londoners dance in a night-club during while being bombed at night. His bewilderment at the whole scene is palpable and in stark contrast with the mood when in France. The whole movie is depressing and ends on a less than joyful note. Did they make any difference at all to the war? One wonders.

A note about the movie- it does not depict any battles against the German per se (that is left in the background) and instead focuses on the sequences mentioned above. Filmed in 1969, it hasn't gained much recognition until recently (recently as of 2006 when it was re-released).

Draft: 6

2009-11-03T22:26:00.002+08:00

To write romance: Necessary to have been in love.

To write crime: Not really necessary to have committed it.

To write horror: Remember your nightmares well.

To write mystery: See here. A bow for you if you can add on to that.

To write fantasy: See below.

To write science-fiction: See above.

One Year With Light

2009-10-05T12:32:00.002+08:00

It was a busy first half and now towards the end of '09 I am practically doing nothing, once again.

Games last only so long. I suppose I ought to look for another job. College is part time. Which leaves a little too much time for everything else, except if I were to work. Then I would have too little time for study. An odd dilemma, one some people might say could be solved with better time management, but time can hardly be managed (oh if only), only what one does.

So then, I am challenged to make full use of the remaining months. My own personal goals are far from being fulfilled - and let's not get started with others' expectations of me - so I suppose I got to get busy soon. Or at least, look busy.

White Collar

2009-09-20T08:25:00.001+08:00

It's been over half a year since I entered the corporate world complete with politics, deadlines and late nights. Frankly, I'm not impressed. But that does not mean I take the employees in my company (who - most of them aware of this irony - sell products most of them can never afford) to be sad people.

Exactly the opposite. They are far far braver than me - I am positively inadequate before them. Most of them enjoy their job. It is, after all, hardly the worst company to end up in.

With one qualification: if you have bigger dreams (as I do), not even a Forbes 100 will satisfy you nor bring you anywhere close. And that is why I will be leaving unsatisfied.

Battle for Terra

2009-09-12T10:33:00.003+08:00

Terra is a sci-fi epic in draft. Steamrolled a few months back under the weight of Wolverine et. al, its running time, execution and even script does not do the story underlying it justice.

Visuals are somewhere upon the spectrum of spectacular to so-so, but the dialogue and pacing I must single out for making Lucas look like a playwright.

Now, if only there was enough money and a decent execution to turn it into the live-action CGI epic it was intended to be. Oh wait, that's Avatar* (which this movie shares many themes with).

________________________

*No, I am not obsessed about Avatar. It's just a big, massive, expensive 3D CGI epic by James Cameron, is all.

Minimal

2009-09-07T12:56:00.000+08:00

There is not a lot to write as all my words are being directed to assignments and thoughts in my head.

Deadlines loom again and I sigh.

Avatar.

2009-08-20T23:08:00.002+08:00

So yes, three years curiously following the movie. Hearing directors from Steven Spielberg to Ridley Scott saying that this is something revolutionary.

The trailer, to say the least, will be a letdown if you're expecting something amazing. Great expectations, I suppose are rarely met.

The big downer will be the looks of the aliens. Hardly impressive, very unnatural. But then they are aliens and the mind thinks as much. The unfortunate uncanny valley.

Anyway, looking forward to it in 3D. Can't be worse than Transformers 2, can it?

P.S. Seems like most of those who went for Avatar Day (i.e. the worldwide brief preview of Avatar) say that it's the 3D that changes the whole game. Indeed, one notices the mixed reviews for the teaser trailer vs. the almost universal acclaim for the footage shown on Avatar Day.

I guess one can't judge the film by the trailer. Not that I usually do that. Heh.

Self-Study (Note No. 112)

2009-08-17T20:21:00.001+08:00

Looking at MIT's Open Course Ware is a great way at formulating your own self-study curriculum, except that once you have everything in place, you have no idea where to begin.

Listening to one of their classes, you realize that fancy universities have noisy students (the lecturer constantly has to shush the students). And I thought my college wasn't exemplary when it came to talking in class. As someone remarked, it's a universal thing, talking in class.

I realize I read too widely, and I think it's a bad habit .But it is difficult to trim down my subjects of focus. I have over a thousand (digital) books in my library and need to sort them out.

Initial areas of interest: Philosophy, History, Theology- None of which I have a passion in (I no longer have a passion for anything). I only have likes and dislikes, with my most liked being ostensibly the things I would first like to do.

The Hurt Locker

2009-08-17T12:52:00.013+08:00

The rush of battle is a potent and often lethal addiction, for war is a drug...

The Hurt Locker opens with this framing quote by Chris Hedges (you can find it in an interesting article he wrote here). Framing indeed, because if it was omitted you would have seen this movie in a different light. You would have seen it as just another above average war movie- decent, well-acted but alas forgettable. Such is the power of the opening quote.

What is interesting is what the full paragraph has to say:

"I learned early on that war forms its own culture. The rush of battle is a potent and often lethal addiction, for war is a drug, one I ingested for many years. It is peddled by myth makers -historians, war correspondents, filmmakers novelists and the state - all of whom endow it with qualities it often does possess: excitement, exoticism, power, chances to rise above our small stations in life, and a bizarre and fantastic universe that has a grotesque and dark beauty. It dominates culture, distorts memory, corrupts language and infects everything around it, even humor, which becomes preoccupied with the grim perversities of smut and death. Fundamental questions about the meaning, or meaninglessness, of our place on the planet are laid bare when we watch those around us sink to the lowest depths. War exposes the capacity for evil that lurks just below the surface within all of us." (Emphasis Added)

Fortunately I have never shared Mr. Hedges experiences, so I cannot comment on this movie's accuracy in approximating actual combat. A few seem to say it does.

As for me, I am impressed by the filmmakers' great pains in depicting simulating Iraq (and I must say, I had to wonder how they were able to film in so gritty and honest locations and conjure up such spine tingling suspense). Of course, the old adage that TV is life without the boring bits stills holds true here.

So does war possess all the attributes Hedges lists above? Excitement, exoticism, a bizarre and fantastic universe? The Hurt Locker says yes. So what can we say about war? War is unreal, war is hell and now, war is a drug. War is many things then, and eventually as the "myth makers" begin to run out of ideas, war becomes anything. That's a scary thought.

District 9

2009-08-15T10:09:00.009+08:00

Here's an eviction notice. Not that you'll understand what it is.

One half unsubtle social commentary and another half shoot-em-up, District 9 is fresh but not wholly original. The two halves don't fully mesh together, which would've made for a brilliant movie. Instead we have a National-Geographic/News-ish shaky cam setup (Cloverfield haters might not enjoy the first two-thirds of the movie) which then (devolves?) launches into full guns and blasters and you realize that they put the leftovers props from Halo to good use.

It's good and entertaining and while it becomes frenetic, it never launches into a full-on assault of your senses. Along with Star Trek, the two halfway solid movies of the summer, both happen to be sci-fi. And if Avatar delivers even half of what it's promising, all bets are off as to whether we are going to see another glut of science fiction coming our way (akin to the epic/fantasy binge we saw after LotR).

Not that I'm complaining.

Little Steps

2009-08-13T21:38:00.004+08:00

My cat has a routine that is almost impeccable. From morning to evenings she lays on a box near my bed, hidden by a curtain. From the evening to night, she is in my brother's room lingering. I would not know what she would be up to till the dawn, but she's always busy, so I'm assuming as much.

We rarely look out at the night sky because there's nothing to see. Unless its rocks burning up in our atmosphere, then everyone goes out only to find the sky is overcast. In the city the lights drowned out everything. Even here, where stars blossom, I rarely look up. Force of habit, I suppose.

I rarely talk about work because there's hardly anything to say. It's work, in front of a computer screen - oh how dull has the computer made work. Even the car mechanics look at the computer now, because cars have become like computers. Most of the books I read are from a single grayscale screen. Convenient. I miss paper, but then I am rarely sentimental over such things. Things are things, plastic or metal or paper. One would think as much.

Movies and books are getting more boring. I have been watching a lot of movies and reading a lot of books. Have I been learning? Yes. Will one eventually run out of things to learn? Some would I say no. All things come to an end, but I am just too young to understand that, right?

So we take little steps going as slow as we grow and in a few years we realize we have gone so far and the road is going to end and you begin to wonder and regret the things that you had missed and the things that you had done. Would I have done things differently? Of course. Could I have? I don't know.

Most of our paragraphs end with assumptions, indeed most of what we believe in is conjecture. But whatever works, works.

Remembering

2009-04-11T19:24:00.001+08:00

I remember when we had dinner at Pizza Hut and ten minutes after we left everyone there was robbed at gunpoint.

I remember when I used to have enthusiasm for many things. The Bible, astronomy, meteorology, zoology, history, travel.

I remember when I used to have enthusiasm.

So now I realize I've grown up so fast. Back when I was younger, I would wonder what it would be like when I was older. I was uncertain back then what I would be.

I am still uncertain now.

I am getting more and more used to work. It is sometimes slow, sometimes crazy. It is unfortunately never quite interesting, even though it is challenging.

All the more to keep working until I've mastered it.

Observations, and more.

2009-03-21T21:39:00.001+08:00

I notice the monitor lizard that swims in the pond. It stops and turns his head to look at something, then moves into brushes. I first think it is a snake, but it is too short.

It's a hot day, and I think that my office's constant air-conditioning has spoilt me. Now I crave for it, whereas when working I find it often annoying. It is always too cold.

Feeling sleepy, will sleep again. I do not think I am going to do much today. Next week, though, is going to be a busy one as someone needs a personal assistant and the task seems to have fallen on me. Two jobs then, but only for a week.

This corporate game is interesting, but repetition is inevitable; in which case I must make the choice to continue or bail. In today's depressive times (as everyone in saying, but don't seem to quite understand) one cannot be blamed if he were to be too cautious. But I am neither cautious nor a person unafraid. I am patient, I think a lot, but I am utterly ambitious. Laugh, if you were to know what I wish to do.

I suppose I ought to rest.

There is a lot to do.

So what to do with my time?

2009-03-09T10:14:00.001+08:00

One free today, then work follows unceasingly for the next five days. I hope I get used to it.

The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.

In a sense, quite right. Though one also remembers the tragedy when morality got hijacked by the state. And - perish the thought - by the individual. Either way this is one of the invisible, arbitrary notions we can't deny. Funny how people have invented proofs for God's (non)existence long before they did for "morality".

I think I need to learn another language.

The appreciation of rest; a tiring game.

2009-03-07T21:31:00.001+08:00

Up till last week I never really valued weekends, mainly because I had absolutely nothing to do besides house chores and my own independent projects*. That is, until I started work. Yes, work work work. My life has suddenly become busy, and honestly, I laugh at myself for suddenly overnight becoming the cliched white collar worker. My diary, once empty, is now filled with appointments, meetings &c. On any other day, I would have found that disturbing.

But even more disturbingly, I somehow found it fun. It is indeed a fun game (if I may use such an analogy) that requires skill, but also (all too typically) requires a fair amount of grinding. Levelling up, I suppose, is never easy.

So far I am enjoying it. Yes, there is a steep learning curve but I'll get used to it soon enough. But like all games, people get bored of it and either leave to something new (but may not necessarily be more interesting) or stay and keep playing a game that is boring simply because that is the only thing they know how to do and couldn't be bothered to learn something new.

I am learning a lot. But I must also learn to know when I am no longer learning, and move on.

All in a day's work.

___________________________________

* Including but not limited to watching movies, reading books, doing nothing and watching movies.

Of existential issues

2009-02-19T18:05:00.001+08:00

The emotionally mature adult can face up to the complexity and evil of the world. He can bear knowing that he is ignorant. He is content to achieve that which is within his reach. What is possible contents him, even when it falls short of the apparent ideal. No longer so sure of all the answers, or even whether there are answers, he is too busy working to achieve his reasonable goals to torment himself with such overwhelming questions.

We must be grateful, however, that some people cannot escape asking such questions, and seeking answers, for the results of those enterprises have sometimes been great literature, philosophy, theology - to our immeasurable profit.

Truth be told, I'd rather go hiking.

Interview

2009-02-06T21:48:00.001+08:00

Today I went for my very first proper job interview, for a place in an MNC.

Long, odd hours. But decent pay, and perks such as free drinks and casual clothes.

Probably one of the few times I was aware that I did not have any SPM certification or SAT or what have you.

"SPM cert?"

"Er...no, as you can see I was a homeschooler and took a different route, and went to a college that accepted homeschoolers. But I have a diploma, as you can see..."

"Ah...yes."

I got to the second round. It seems as long as you have a diploma (or degree), they don't care.

Typing test. I was the fastest among them all. Ha.

Final interview.

"So when can you start work?"

"Uh...I was thinking..."

"?"

"Could you put me on hold?"

So there. I went for a job that I wanted but then at the last minute had second thoughts (because, truth be told, I was considering a nicer one). So essentially I went for an interview for a job that I didn't want.

I was disinterested throughout while a guy near me was hyperventilating.

I felt bad, wasting their time. So I made sure to thank them for that. But then they wasted two hours of my time, too. Told me to come at 1, started at 3.

Either way, it was good practice. Heh.

...of the now #26/01/09#

2009-01-27T09:16:00.001+08:00

Mogwai was in KL, and they were loud.

2009-01-22T13:55:00.003+08:00

I just learned last night what loud meant, and boy it was loud. But Mogwai's music sounds better on a CD, I think. Live they are deafening and exhilarating yes, but the texture of their songs are lost amidst the sonic chaos that deals damage to ones ears.

But it was still awesome.

Post KT By-Election Thoughts

2009-01-17T21:25:00.005+08:00

This Wiki article neatly summarizes the context and what was at stake in this by-election. Permatang Pauh may have been brushed aside by BN as an expected result, but it's quite clear that the Kuala Terengganu seat is the real battleground for BN and PR which PAS has managed to win.

I give you my thoughts in a neat point form:

Let it be said that BN never really held the KT seat that tightly (they won by a slim 600+ vote majority).
It is telling that PAS won by a few thousand ostensibly swing votes. One can draw a conclusion that BN has not really impressed the KT voters over the past year since the General Elections.
But Kuala Terengganu hardly speaks of the whole nation's sentiment. The Opposition for example, has made very little headway in states like Johor. Time will tell if this will change.
PAS is (perhaps) being perceived more as a component of Pakatan Rakyat i.e. the Opposition rather than that fundamentalist Islamist party that it is so often feared as.
BN has some overhauling to do. Expect the blame game to begin among the now braver component parties.

See:-

Malaysiakini: PAS wins KT by 2,631 votes
The Star: PAS' Wahid wins KT seat

I Can See The Stars Now

2009-01-15T09:24:00.003+08:00

If there is one thing I like about Seremban, it's that the night sky is much clearer. I can see the stars now, thanks to the lack of light pollution. Although, as a science teacher pointed out, it's hard to see a clear sky in the tropics due to the moisture in the air. Something like a smokescreen. Hence one must head to the desert or the colder countries to get that fairytale view of the stars.

But this is a start.

Restart

2009-01-14T20:44:00.001+08:00

Here we go again. Again.

A Brief Pause

2008-12-12T16:49:00.001+08:00

This blog is on hold for a while. I'll be focusing on other projects now, like ah, my review & story blog. The former is ~~still under construction~~ here.

Until then, S.D.G.

Cause of Death

2008-12-05T22:21:00.003+08:00

There was a dead baby monitor lizard (or gecko?) on our porch. It was turned upside down. And was missing its head and a few limbs (no pictures; too gruesome). We speculated as to the cause of death. Insects? Snakes? Other lizards? Our cat?

I theorized that it accidentally fell down and severed its head and limbs. I don't think it is highly probable, but it is possible.

Either way the lizard is dead.

Draft: 5

2008-12-04T10:40:00.001+08:00

Prose need not be constrained by grammar, but it must always be comprehensible in which grammar is an aid in accomplishing such.

Of course, even if punctuation is non-existent but we can still see and understand the content, then that is acceptable writing already (cf. True History of the Kelly Gang by Peter Carey).

Draft: 4

2008-12-03T20:20:00.002+08:00

It's official: I am unable to write fiction unless it is on paper. Word processors dull my mind. I am unable to agree on a sentence; the backspace I use too liberally and as such I get stuck with nothing all too often.

Non-fiction, on the other hand, is suicide on anything other than an internet capable PC with Word.

Haha.

A note to the righteous...

2008-12-03T18:02:00.001+08:00

We are all hypocrites. Enjoy life. ^_^

Young Journalists' Camp 2008

2008-12-03T17:41:00.001+08:00

I knew it was coming the moment I heard "assignments". This was not about you writing because you want to, but you writing because you have to.

I had my fair share of assignments in college and if writing - just writing anything - made you a better writer I'd be better than Ernest Hemingway by now. Alas, one does not become better by writing alone.

One must read the right books and likewise write the right stories.

What follows will be an immensely subjective evaluation of the Scripture Union's Young Writers' Camp, 2008. It will be, in other words, my opinion.

Dividing into teams, each one of us had to write something to fill up our paper. Our word count was budgeted; our stories edited. By the end of the camp some of us may have mastered the fine art of writing what your editor wants.

Unfortunately such accommodation I did not find particularly amusing nor enlightening.

I ought to say that I have no qualms about journalistic writing. My experience at a New Straits Times journalism course taught me a lot - including the joys of writing newspaper articles. They can be fun. It was there I learned how to write the perfect bite size article for a reader with an excruciatingly short attention span. The nut graph? Check.

It was not because I knew all these things when I sat through the sessions that made it so unenjoyable. I think it was because from the start, we had to write something that had to come out a certain way, meet a certain expectation. Of course, writing is always about meeting expectations. But as you'll see below, I was troubled about what those "expectations" were.

I noticed fiction was almost non-existent here. Obviously. And that is the problem. Non-fiction is almost always more powerful than fiction (and indeed, I read more of the former than the latter) but in the recounting of facts and figures creativity is stunted.

A facilitator remarked to me that this was less a creative writing camp than a journalism one. Perhaps that was the organizer's intention, but he spoke to me as if he had expected something else. As if the end result was not quite satisfactory, not quite intended.

A brief digression: I must say that the camp was one of the more energetic and fun ones that I have been to (although that may have been because we were confined entirely to our mountain retreat in the previous year's camp).

The cave trip was different, and provided a respite. When I found myself back at Harvest Haven (run by the amazingly genial staff there) though, I found myself back into the expected, into the required. I vaguely remembered college.

We learned about writing alright. I just wonder that, in the process of editing pictures, transcribing interviews and meeting deadlines the real point of us going here - to learn how to write - was lost.

I also wonder, in our rush to admire our writing in our make believe newspapers, did we have the wrong conception as to what writing was?

The Writer's Slam, where our works are commented and criticized upon showed as much. Less than half of the campers actually came up to speak, which either shows that they were lazy or had nothing to write. If it was the latter, then that is troubling indeed.

I learned little about inspiration in writing, which for many is so so very important. Without inspiration our writing will be hollow. Or, as is the case most of the time, we end up writing nothing at all. And if your only inspiration happens to be deadlines, do not be surprised if you find your writing so uninspiring.

I suppose that has been my problem. Less with the program than the idea behind this camp. My issue was with its philosophy, which I don't like. But forgive me, I suppose my idea of writing is still so romanticized. Time, always the dependable teacher, will tell.
__________________________

I would like to thank the facilitators and other organizers (and subsidizers, hehe) who made this camp happen. Sorry, I had no other way to word it. I really, really appreciate what you guys have done and please, keep the Young Writer's Camp alive.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2008-11-25T13:03:00.003+08:00

I realize that while trying to stay as "free" as possible I have inadvertently made myself rather busy. I suppose in that thinking one has a lot of time, one thinks that there is more time to do more things. Hence my engagement in multiple commitments is slowly making me realize that hey, I have a heavy burden to carry once again.

Setting up the wireless network in my home was easier than I thought. Have to thank the techies for making it so simple, although I did sigh for wasting my time at Low Yat last night trying to get a piece of hardware to work (it didn't in the end).

Same thing with the security system, if you can call it that. The house is somewhat big, at least for me who has spent most of his life in condominiums. It also means that there are many place to secure. I hope I got the crucial points done.

I have a notebook which someone gave to me. I really did not need it, but then I realized that maybe it will be helpful. It's old. But it still has some life in it, thankfully.

I am applying for a job and am still labouring over my resume. I find it somewhat discomforting to put nothing more than "Homeschooling from 2001-2005" because it is so sparse on details. But it is intentional. I want my prospective employers to quiz me on the details. No doubt they will be curious. I do not have SPM, but I do have a Diploma and a Degree by next year. No SAT either. But then when one has a diploma/degree in the relevant field no questions are raised about SPM. The latter is too general and would be considered superseded.

My hair is too long and goes into my mouth too often. Ergh.

Draft: 3

2008-11-15T15:01:00.001+08:00

Do not be surprised when you find that your novel idea had been scooped long ago. The world is a big place; there are many thinkers who follow similar paths.

So stories converge, that is without doubt. Books, plays, movies as original as they may claim to be are almost always derived from innumerable other sources. Everybody needs inspiration. And as such if there were nothing to "steal" from, we would have nothing to write.

Plagiarism, of course, is frowned upon. But as someone put it, plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from many.

I should start doing some research.

Draft: 2

2008-11-13T13:28:00.001+08:00

I realize that when writing a long story (and by long story I mean a piece in excess of 10K words) one cannot depend on spontaneity (which I rely on a lot) to drive the story on. It is not just you having an idea what to write (or for that matter, an entire outline of your story in hand). For me, I find that even with the framework set up it does get tedious for me to fill it in.

As such I stall, way too often. I have since discarded the "instinct" and outline approach to writing, and adopted a keyword approach wherein I build up my story based on certain key sentences (much like how some filmmakers who adapt comics base their storyboard on select panels).

I have yet to see if this will work, considering that I am working on a few stories that are progressing too slowly. I might just revert to writing 1K+ pieces and see how it goes. One good way to cheat is to write a serious of short stories and claim it as a novel. I find the end result too fragmentary and disjointed - obviously.

Ultimately, I realize I need inspiration. My usual sources are books - fiction and non-fiction (I find that both inspire me in different ways), movies, stories as told by other people etc.

I might need to travel a bit. It never hurts, yes?

Burn After Reading

2008-11-13T11:32:00.001+08:00

And so the Coens return to their usual fare, black comedy. Burn After Reading is funny both intentionally and unintentionally. Characters delve into slapstick - albeit well acted slapstick. Of course, many - like me - after watching this show may just want to say (as many of the characters do): What the f?

But then again most Coen movies are like that.

Ah, again.

2008-11-12T18:31:00.000+08:00

So much for my New Year's resolution which shall have to wait for next year. Obviously I won't be able to meet my 365 post deadline, but then I decided quality over quantity anyway and thought it a rather spurious effort anyway.

It has been a busy few weeks. Shifted house yet again, though of course I made it a point to call no place home until I am so sure. Certainty eludes me at the moment, sadly. I now live in Seremban, and while not exactly a small town, is enough of a demotion to make me value city living which I have taken for granted. But as they say, you gotta adapt.

I have two free months until the end of this year, and I am trying to use it wisely. Of course, top priority will be to get a job as my college downshifts to part-time for my final year. Which means they assume I'll be working. Ah.

Being a sampler of many things, I have yet to find one which delights me the most (although my recent voluntary work comes close, but alas, it's voluntary - albeit one that I would like to resume once I get a proper job).

Still searching, still searching.

Draft: 1

2008-10-22T09:02:00.001+08:00

In which the author realizes that many of his original ideas were not original, that some sentences which he refined in thought turned out to have been written long (and not so long) ago.

The necessity of reading a lot of literature - fiction and non-fiction is recognized and appreciated. Those who write but do not read are playing but not training; both of which are important to the mastery of any art or skill.

Home

2008-10-20T11:13:00.001+08:00

Well, I'm back. Most of us made it to the top of Mount Kinabalu. Then we were stricken by various infirmities on the way down. Not the best of trips, but still worth it in the end. Oh, and due to an unfortunate error in ticketing, some of us are still stuck in Sabah. I was one of the lucky few who got home on time. Poor them.

All my bags are packed...

2008-10-12T19:38:00.001+08:00

Though I'm not that ready to go. Hmm...

Anyway, tomorrow I head to Kota Kinabalu to climb this mountain. It will certainly be fun for the masochists. Sigh. Apparently the experience is worth-it.

So I'll be away for the next week. In the meanwhile, familiarize yourself with some of the people I'll be traveling with:

Work, play, change etc.

2008-10-04T15:32:00.001+08:00

Have been rather busy as of late. Ended my short work stint, and now am looking for a more permanent job while refining my entrepreneurial plan. Oh, and study.

Mt. Kinabalu is slightly more than a week away. Have to train, although I'm satisfied with my stamina. Still, am keeping my fingers crossed. Altitude sickness strikes randomly.

I said that I have been busy, but now I have somehow found more time for play. Am trying to clear my huge backlog of PS2 games, and the fact that almost all of them are RPGs do not help. Require lots of time, something I cannot invest too much of on such things. Sigh.

I came across this quote from F.F. Bruce (NT Documents - Are They Reliable?) that pretty much sums up my philosophy of apologetics (if I may phrase it that way):

"...history and theology are inextricably intertwined in the gospel of our salvation, which owes its eternal and universal validity to certain events which happened in Palestine when Tiberius ruled the Roman Empire."

And that is the assertion of Paul and by extension of Christianity. And that is the exact statement I keep in mind if I ever were to defend my faith. Not to offer theodicies or to prove the existence of God, but to say that sometime 2000 years ago, a certain person who claimed to be the Son of God died on the cross and rose again after three days. Now what do you think of that?

Megaprojects are:

2008-09-23T22:32:00.001+08:00

Underestimated costs + Overestimated revenues + Undervalued environmental impacts + Overvalued economic developmental effects = Project approval

Something from an old college paper of mine. The authors of the work I cited were certainly sardonic with this statement. But that's a sadly (un)reasonable formula that seems to work all the time.

ISA Candlelight Vigil @ DAP Subang Jaya

2008-09-17T14:49:00.001+08:00

The Wedding

2008-09-17T14:45:00.001+08:00

Our lecturer got married to her husband. Haha. I love being redundant. Kay, here goes:

I'm a little lazy. You can check out the rest here. Because I know you're not as lazy as me. :P

By Candlelight

2008-09-16T21:21:00.003+08:00

A candlelight vigil in support of Teresa Kok and other ISA detainees at DAP Subang Jaya.
Video coming soon.

I was more of an observer than participant. But...what's that word? Yes, solidarity was there.

Reminding myself...

2008-09-13T20:14:00.001+08:00

Have work to do; reading, exercise, prayer.

To develop more patience; self-control.

Lucifer isn't Satan's real name*. But it does sound cool.

Talk to my brothers more often.

Learn more skills. Have been focussing a little too much on history and uh...geography, to crudely simplify it. But they're phases, I suppose.

I notice that this is a transition period for myself. Will have to work hard and be vigilant, identify my competitive advantage(s). Network.
____________________________________

*A long semantic/literary/theological/historical story behind this. Wikipedia is a good starting point.

Hmm... - Part 2

2008-09-13T14:23:00.001+08:00

Our Home Minister outdoes our former Information Minister with that and of course, this truly well thought out statement:

Asked on the detention of Selangor senior executive councillor Teresa Kok, Syed Hamid said she was arrested due to her comments on mosques and the Azan recently.

”Her comments have created public disorder and problems,” he said.

Oh, oh. Once again some people are unable to see the planks in their own eyes (c.f. Ahmad Ismail et. al.)

Hmm...

2008-09-13T09:14:00.001+08:00

All I can say is, detaining a politician who won with the biggest majority in the entire elections isn't the wisest of ideas.

Brain Drain - A Matter of Perspective

2008-09-12T14:15:00.000+08:00

While we Malaysians complain about brain drain of our finest students to countries like the U.S. (and even say we deserve to be compensated for it, says Dr. Mahathir "Bumiputera empowerment at the expense of others" Muhammad), some people in United States are complaining about the brain drain of their finest to Europe.

One commentator blamed it on the US' poor education system. Ah, perspective.

Only in Thailand.

2008-09-09T19:05:00.001+08:00

And so the current Thai administration, and its Prime Minister falls (for now) not because of some protesters calling for "democracy", but because of a cooking show.

The usual.

2008-09-05T16:28:00.003+08:00

Have resumed work at a local state assemblymen's office. Same old things to do, but you learn new things while you're at it. Probably the environment that I enjoy.

Am practicing sentence forming. Forming the most aesthetically pleasing ones, mind you. Right now I'm still trying to figure out how Ondaatje did it with "The English Patient". Then I'll move on to studying Coetzee (Cormac McCarthy is KIV). You never learn unless you start copying. I remember how in art class my teacher made me copy pictures again and again. I never got around to drawing my own. Heh.

Training for Kinabalu is on schedule. I found myself fatiguing faster today. Pitiful stamina, pitiful. :(

Selamat Hari Merdeka

2008-08-31T13:43:00.001+08:00

Reflection > Celebration

Thieves in the Parliament

2008-08-30T19:50:00.001+08:00

Let this be an allegory of what is happening to this country. If there are thieves in the Parliament, what more elsewhere?

The State, Power, Study, Others.

2008-08-29T21:53:00.001+08:00

My friend asked me why anyone would want power and not relinquish it. Obviously he has not been or spoken with a politician. Anyone who has a certain amount of power eventually gets addicted to it. Relinquishing an addiction is not easy, of course.

I've been thumbing through Johnson's Wild Grass as light reading, and the stories in there are certainly thought provoking and tear jerking. How could the government - even in a so called progressive nation - be that bad?

If there's one thing we can deduce, it's that not everyone has a good nature. Or perhaps it's just that people are afraid, afraid of change. Afraid of losing something they've always had for a long, long time. I need to read more. There's no other way for me to find out; armchair reasoning can only get you so far, after all.

Currently working my way through a history of SEA. Made up of two volumes, but then the 1400s don't really interest me. But of course, history never bores me. =)

By the way, Swinburne's Existence of God is unintentionally hilarious; I had to reread each sentence thrice. But clearly its not quite layman level reading, so yes, I must grant that. Interesting nonetheless. My background in logic is unfortunately pitiful (I never got beyond an education in informal logic), which certainly doesn't help.

One and a half months to go before we climb Mount Kinabalu. I'm quite excited; although I'm sadly still trying to fine-tune my fitness plan. *Sigh* Give me self-discipline, but not yet!

Perspective.

2008-08-28T08:29:00.001+08:00

These articles, one by the President of Russia and the other by Georgia are good examples of starkly different perspectives; with each one believing he is right. Worth reading.

Medvedev's opening:

On Tuesday Russia recognised the independence of the territories of South Ossetia and Abkhazia. It was not a step taken lightly, or without full consideration of the consequences. But all possible outcomes had to be weighed against a sober understanding of the situation – the histories of the Abkhaz and Ossetian peoples, their freely expressed desire for independence, the tragic events of the past weeks and international precedents for such a move.

Saakashvili's opening:

Any doubts about why Russia invaded Georgia have now been erased. By illegally recognising the Georgian territories of Abkhazia and South Ossetia, Dmitry Medvedev, Russia’s president, made clear that Moscow’s goal is to redraw the map of Europe using force.

This war was never about South Ossetia or Georgia. Moscow is using its invasion, prepared over years, to rebuild its empire, seize greater control of Europe’s energy supplies and punish those who believed democracy could flourish on its borders.

So. Who's right?